Condemnation in Heaven
by Qualapec the She-Wolf
Summary: Condemnation in heaven, is much different than condemnation on earth. War Prince Homura should have known that even death was too good for him in the eyes of the gods.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or anything else that anybody in the known universe could sue me for. I own nothing.

AN: Wow, it's amazing how many stories I've started out with that disclaimer that I've only written perhaps a paragraph on. I have so many Saiyuki ideas flooding my brain lately. This is simply the latest because Homura has fascinated me recently. Please, read, drink, and be merry. In other non-Viking terms: enjoy the story.

Condemnation in Heaven

Prologue

Condemnation did not mean the same thing in heaven as it did on earth. On earth it was used in reference to a criminal awaiting death, or a person assumed guilty of some kind of crime. Yes, perhaps the second one was a truer synonym for _condemned_ in heaven then the first one was. As long as Homura could remember he'd been _condemned_ for his heresy. Imprisoned as a child until adulthood simply for bearing the blood of mortal and divine.

Other synonyms included: blame, disapproval, criticism. He guessed these were true also in heaven as they were on earth.

There was only one meaning of the word he was referring too. The word _damnation_ went better with that meaning.

Where on earth the condemned or damned, if you will, would march to their demise within months of their conviction and enjoy the remainder of the universe in the afterlife. Heaven did not operate on those terms. The gods had eternity and they used it to their advantage, making the _condemned_ rot away in prison cells for years, sometimes centuries on end. The worst kind of solitude, no one could hold onto their sanity for that long. An early death or release was the only way to avoid that.

The gods were also paranoid in the worst of ways. Quelling any rebellion before it could even start by making examples of any fool who showed the slightest sign of insubordination. Homura remembered one such incident clearly in his mind: Rinrei, his love that was exiled to earth, where she would live a short life, and he would never forget when Konzen, Kenren, and Tempu fell from grace of their own free will. Not that Homura blamed the three gods; he would have done it himself had he been capable, despite the consequences: an endless series of short, tragic lives in which they give their lives in the service of humanity and the gods. But sometimes the gods were crueler, far crueler, as was the case of Son Goku, who was cast down for crimes not his own. Sealed for 500 years without death, without memories, and with the outside world only feet away.

Put those all together, and that was Homura's current situation. Condemned, imprisoned, alone, and awaiting a death that should have been his months ago. It had been a beautiful moment as he remembered. His mortal blood had been killing him, and he just wanted his last great battle to be what ended him, not the sickness called death that plagued mortals.

But as he sat there, alone once again in his prison cell, he realized that death too had a different meaning in heaven then it did on earth. On earth it was a plague, in heaven it was a blessing few got to experience.

After everything he'd fought for, after all his suffering, he was still locked in a world that hated him. He didn't know who had authorized the heavenly army to pull him from his world, or which sick son of a bitch it was who resurrected him, but all he could do was sit there and wonder why the bastard couldn't have just let him _rest_. Wasn't it a death he earned?

The half-breed almost laughed at the irony. His family, the Jade Emperor and his court that had wished Homura dead since the day he was born had been the ones to save him. In it's own, sick, twisted way it was utterly amusing. However he didn't break out into insane laughter or anything, he wasn't quite that crazy yet. He'd grown up in prisons like this; it would take more than a few months to make him lose his mind. The War Prince refused to give his captors that satisfaction.

He'd always thought that if he was sent back to the prisons it would shatter his spirit, whatever was left of it after Rinrei died. In reality he wasn't that crushed by it, or even that surprised. He didn't know whether it was somewhere deep down he'd always known he'd end up here again or if Rinrei's death hadn't left enough of his soul to crush.

This was how he spent the hours, musing and following the thousands of random thoughts that crossed his mind to their most philosophical form. Homura had no desire to escape; there was nothing out there left for him.

The only thing he saw in his future was death, hopefully before the insanity could set in. That was the aim of the gods' prison, to drive the inmates mad, then when they die the madness follows them into the afterlife. They would spend infinity trapped in that endless darkness. Who they were would be totally erased from their minds, leaving only the fevered shadow of bestial tendencies.

There he was. It was fitting...that he should die like. He was a fool to have ever thought it would end any other way. Even death, the great equalizer, was too good for him.

So he sat there, facing the ultimate condemnation of heaven; never-ending, undying years of sitting alone in darkness...

VVVVV Chapter end

AN: Okay, done with the prologue. Hope to have more up later. Please tell me if you like it. And I promise, it does get better for the War Prince. But be forewarned it will get a whole lot worse before it gets better.


	2. Dreams and Maybes

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or anything else that anybody in the known universe could sue me for. I own nothing.

AN: Okay. This is the second chaper. Mostly musings so far until I develop some kind of plot. But until that fateful day, please enjoy our dear War Prince's suffering.

Condemnation in Heaven

Homura slept. He found that his dreams offered a temporary relief from his prison. It was the only time he could see the sunlight, or feel the warmth of Rinrei's soft touches. Of course there was always the moment where he woke up and realized where he really was. But they were indeed beautiful dreams while they lasted. Just like his dream to forge a new heaven and earth. He supposed it had been doomed from the moment he crossed paths with Konzen, or Genjo Sanzo, as it seemed was now the case. He should have known the other man would stop at nothing to defeat him. Konzen was always like that.

Amazing. How old he felt all of a sudden, and he was, by human standards at least. By divine standards he was actually quite young. But he'd suffered a lifetime's worth. Mentally he felt as old as time.

Physically, he felt young again; there was no sign of the internal decay that had been killing him before. Maybe if he ever got out of there he'd challenge Son Goku again for a real fight. Take them all on at once even. Then afterwards he'd tell Konzen -Genjo Sanzo- to make sure he was dead this time.

Dreaming of battling Son Goku was probably the best of his waking dreams. Even though he knew it would never happen again. Homura knew well that all remaining in his fate was darkness and death. He had no idea if it was wise to pursue these fantasies. For all he knew living in a world of your own mental creation was the fastest way to insanity. Then again, maybe living within your own mind was the only way to keep your sanity when you're looking at hundreds of years in prison.

As far as he could tell though, it was the latter of the two. Thinking had kept him occupied this long.

It was strange. He never even doubted these things the first time. It was just how he'd grown up. Homura supposed there was a time before prison. Every now and then when dreaming he got flashes of a life before then. Walking uncomfortably across a tile floor, eating delicious, warm food, the laughing of his parents, even a distorted image of his mother's face. It made him consider how young he must have been when they locked him up.

There was something truly disgusting about beings that called themselves gods and demons scum, when they locked a small child away in prison for years on end to keep a scandal under wraps. If there was indeed some higher power that created even the gods, Homura had to wonder if this person was incompetent for giving such power to undeserving, bigoted monsters. Maybe if this higher power had put different people in charge of heaven then things like taboo wouldn't exist.

Maybe he wouldn't be here.

Maybe his parents would have surrounded him growing up instead of walls.

Maybe Rinrei wouldn't have been cast down.

Maybe he could have had a family with her.

At those different 'maybes' that played themselves out in his mind, he couldn't contain this sense of anger. All of that should have been his. He, like any god in heaven, deserved to have those experiences.

With a resigned sigh, he leaned back and smiled a sad smile. He would have loved to have a family with Rinrei.

But now that he thought about it, who's fault was it that he wasn't doing that right now? He could have rebelled against the gods the moment they crowned him War Prince. If he hadn't been blinded so thoroughly by his own self-loathing he could have risen against the gods; fought each and every one single handedly. Even if he had died in the process then at least he would have taken as many of the bastards with him as possible. That would have almost as been as good a death as his battle with Son Goku. In it's own way even better. That way he would be forever remembered as having stained the ivory halls of heaven with blood. He would have been the pawn that was beyond their control.

He could have died a revolutionary, the first among many to rise against the bureaucracy of the gods. Perhaps that one act of slaughter would forever be remembered, and passed down to those being born in heaven. Maybe more like him would be born, one day leading a successful campaign to rob the Jade Emperor of his throne.

But as it stood, that would not happen. As things were it was the path he'd chosen was too subtle. You're only truly remembered in heaven if you kill enough gods so that everybody knows about it. Otherwise the nobles of the court will brush whatever mess you cause under the rug...yes; maybe he could have taken the more direct, the more _violent_ route.

Only in dreams can you explore the possibilities of 'maybe'...

VVVVV

AN: Okay...I hope it will develop some kind of plot soon. But for now enjoy the musings. Please R&R


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